Who's Contributing The Other Half ?

As we are on the cusp of the month of Adar, we once again read the parsha of Shekalim this Shabbos. This was the directive that G-d communicated to Moshe that Israelites contribute a half shekel for this national campaign. This campaign had a dual purpose. Firstly, the donated silver was ultimately melted and used for the construction of the mishkan/tabernacle. It  was also done for the purpose of the first national census. Instead of counting heads, we were told to contribute a half shekel coin. However many coins were counted was the amount of people that were accounted for in the census.

I have often wondered, why couldn’t everyone just contribute a shekel ? Was there any reason for the frugality here ? After all the proceeds went to the construction of the mishkan/tabernacle  and the more funds collected would just make this fundraising campaign that more successful ?

Upon reflection, the half shekel contribution does teach us a great lesson. It reflects the notion that although each and every individual is valuable and significant we are only part of something that is much greater than the sum of all of our parts. Klal Yisroel is not just a collection of individuals. Rather, we are a nation in which each tribe uniquely contributes in a way which cannot be duplicated. Everyone has a special purpose and mission. Unfortunately, we tend to hear how one individual or group disparages another and claims the other contributions are unworthy. Yet, as we know the Kohanim, Levites and Israelites all contributed into weaving the larger tapestry of Klal Yisroel. This fundamental lesson manifests itself precisely with the contribution of the half shekel. Let’s remember there are other Jews that contribute a half shekel in their own unique way.

The Most Important Top Ten List

For some reason, the term “ Top 10” has become a defining way to communicate the most valuable moments. From Top Ten plays of the Super Bowl to Top Ten sports bloopers of all time, we frequently evaluate important events that way. In fact, the first “Top Ten” is recorded in this week's parsha of curse with the Ten Commandments. This is arguably the most important event in the history of mankind. This is the moment when G-d communicates His message of what it means to be a chosen people for a unique and chosen mission. This was not just delivered to one individual, prophet or rabbi. Rather this was a national experience that every man, woman, and child heard on that fateful day at Mount Sinai. It all started with the deafening words “  I am the Lord your G-d who took you out of Egypt.” Many have wondered about the latter part of the verse which references the Exodus of Egypt. After all, is that isolated incident, the greatest accomplishment that G-d could come up with? What about something more universal as “I am the Lord your G-d who created heaven and earth”?

Upon taking a closer look at the verse, there is a very profound lesson for us to internalize. G-d is telling us that He took us out of Egypt, but to be more precise He is saying that in the singular tense; I took YOU out of Egypt. Translation: I took you out of your difficult situation and state of confinement. This was not only ancient Egypt that we were emancipated from but rather during every difficult personal situation, He is there for us. Essentially, we are being told, “ I am you personal G-d who wants a personal relationship with you.” This cannot be overemphasized about the importance of our faith. To paraphrase the sage Hillel, This is the entire Torah. The rest is commentary which you must go and study.

Second Chance

Just when you might have thought we were done with Jewish holidays for a while, Pesach Sheini, or the Second Passover, comes along.   Before your blood pressure goes through the roof and you have heart palpitations with the thought of cleaning your kitchen thoroughly for a couple of days followed by a marathon Seder lasting into the early dawn hours, please take a deep breath. This is a largely symbolic day that we actually celebrated this week.  Historically, in ancient times of the Temple in Jerusalem, anyone who would be unable to participate in the Passover offering due to either being a great distance away or in a state of ritual impurity was able to have a makeup date one month later. Hence the holiday, Pesach Sheini.

Yet, before we dismiss this day as a relic of the past which has no practical relevance, it may be worth it to internalize the greater message of this day.  It seems to be a minor Jewish holiday with a major universal message. Many times we do not experience success in our initial attempts toward important endeavors. It is frustrating to invest time, energy and financial resources into something we hold dear, only to see it fail. It does not just fail the first time; in many instances, there are multiple failures. With each subsequent failure, we get more discouraged and lose hope of ever succeeding. Yet, we can never give up. There is always another day that brings new opportunities and plateaus that one can conquer.

If you were not successful the first time, please remember the mitzvah of Pesach Sheini.  Some of the greatest accomplishments or achievements the world has ever seen were not successful the first time around. Even the first set of tablets that Moses received at Sinai were smashed almost immediately. So, if you are lying on the mat feeling down after another setback, just dust yourself off and try again.

Happy Pesach Sheini.

Moving Forward

In the aftermath of a divisive and brutal election season, everyone and their cousin is offering a post mortem as to why election turned out this way. I am not here to offer my political analysis as to why the election had this outcome. I will leave that to the political pundits that are located across the country from newsrooms to the banter at daily minyan. There is a certain element that I would like to address that has many of us left with scar tissue from the 2016 election. Over the course of the long and heated campaign there were many relationships that took a hit due to the passionate exchanges of views. From spouses, siblings, coworkers and even fellow congregants at shul, there were many instances of tempers flaring and displaying outright disdain for someone else’s views.  I have heard of some people that are dreading or even avoiding the upcoming Thanksgiving dinners with family members that voted for the “wrong person”. So how do we pick up the pieces now that the election is finally behind us ? ( I thought I was nauseous when I was driving and heard on the radio something about the 2018 mid term elections)

There is this phrase that we find many times in the Torah including the weekly  portions that we read at this time of year. After various significant and compelling events that are recorded in the Torah, prior to moving on to a new  subject, we are taught, “It was after these things”. This is teaching is an important lesson about how to move on from important event that are good or otherwise. It is important to catch our breath and reflect on how could move on more stable footing with one another. It is important to remember that we have far more in common with our friends and family than the political disagreements that divide us. Yet, frequently we emphasize and highlight the differences between us. It is still possible for someone to be a kind, intelligent and good hearted  individual despite having voted for the the candidate that you didn’t favor. So let us take a step back and view how integral our relationships with our families and friends are and not allow this election to hijack it. Moreover, I would add, that for the people that are celebrating and feeling jubilant, there still will be daily stresses and challenges in our lives. The notion that a new occupant to the oval office will solve all of our struggles in life is somewhat wishful thinking. On the other hand for those folks that are despondent and full of despair, please remember that the United States and its Constitution have been around for a while and tested many times and it still is a strong and proud republic. So to all those that were thinking of sitting shiva, please keep in mind,the sky is not falling.

So the next time we break bread or raise a glass with someone that we have disagreed during this election season, let us take a deep breath and enjoy each other's company. Life is just too important to choose otherwise.

Is Winning All the Time a Great Thing ?

“Winning isn't everything. It’s the only thing.” So declared  Vince Lombardi, the

legendary coach of the Green Bay  Packers. That attitude has been adopted as sacred gospel by our society. At the conclusion of the most recent Super Bowl, Cam Newton the quarterback that led his team to great heights only to succumb in America’s favorite game, really was taken to task for not going all the way. This perspective manifests itself in many ways outside the football field. From the classroom to the playground, we have become all about winning. We are increasingly unforgiving about any setbacks and defeats. Indeed there is a major presidential candidate that has anchored his campaign on the notion of constant winning and that he can deliver uninterrupted winning.

Putting aside the reality for a moment that this is even remotely possible, I would even further ask, Is winning all the time even desirable ? Is there something to learn from losing occasionally ? Are there any teachable moments that can emerge from a defeat ? All these questions appear to be  unheard of in the alternate reality of presidential politics and beyond, but these are questions that beg to be asked.

In fact, Jewish tradition enlightens us about the virtue in failure. No less an authority than King Solomon wrote that the righteous fall down seven times before rising up. Some have suggested that doesn't mean that the righteous rise despite falling 7 times, rather, it's the righteous that rise precisely because they stumbled on multiple occasions. That is not to suggest that a person should not aspire to win and be successful but when there is a stumbling block, it can be utilized as an opportunity to learn from for the future.

In fact, there was an very interesting article called,  10 reasons Why C students are more successful after graduation, which among other things says that they understand that failure is a beautiful teacher. One of the ideas mentioned in the article, is that they are not perfectionists. This is why so many successful entrepreneurs struggled in school. Learning to handle failure in (hopefully) small doses equips people for bigger challenges.

Michael Jordan arguably the greatest basketball player of all time put it best when he said,”I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

It’s time to stop fantasizing about marrying the perfect person, having the perfect life and dare I say it, electing the perfect president. We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people and attaching ourselves to the notion of constantly winning is not only totally inconsistent with reality, it deprives us of the opportunity to grow from our failures.

The Case to Mourn

So, it’s that time of year again. Tisha B’av. This is the national day of mourning for the Jewish people. We commemorate the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash/Jewish Temple that was destroyed not once but twice over the course of history. The first temple was destroyed by the Babylonians and the second temple was destroyed by the Romans. In observance of this we engage in intense mourning for about 24 hours once a year. Not only do we abstain from eating, drinking, showering etc. – we sit on the floor and wail from the Book of Lamentations.

The question I would ask is, how can we mourn for something that is gone if we never personally experienced it to begin with? The Temple seems so distant in the past and we don’t even know who the Babylonians are at this point. How does one find meaning in this day? Are we just going through the motions with our practices of mourning?

It occurred to me that we are not only sad about the absence of a building in Jerusalem that no longer exists. No matter how devastating it is that we no longer have our central house of worship that just reflects the state that we find ourselves in. That is the state of Hester Panim/ G-d’s Concealed Face. The basic understanding of this idea is that although God is very much present in our lives, “His Face” remains concealed. That translates into a perceived lack of justice in the world. That is why we struggle with so much pain, suffering and tragedy. If only we were able to experience the Godly radiance in our lives, we would see so much more blessing and have much more clarity. Alas, His Face is concealed. The devastating consequences cannot be overstated. From terrorism that is growing to tyranny that is flourishing, we suffer every day and many times during the day from being in this state of Hester Panim.

Our holidays are not just events of commemoration, but rather occasions to reflect, relive and amplify the root cause of the day.

As we sit on the floor on Tisha B’av and hear the solemn Book of Lamentations being read, let us remember that beyond mourning our shattered past, we also mourn for our current state of affairs. I think about the isolation of the one and only Jewish state and how that state is the only country in the world that faces calls for its destruction. I think about how “Zion” has become a dirty word in most world capitals and citadels of culture in the world. I think about the only country in the world that does not have a right to name its own capital.  I think about all the people who have perished in terror attacks that have been unleashed by the forces that champion hate. I think about all the people suffering from terminal illnesses. I think about many young widows and orphans that struggle to make it through the day. I think about all the people that are undergoing financial distress and struggle to pay their monthly rent and put some groceries in their cupboard. I think about all the heroic parents who despite their best intentions and rock solid values have their children grow up and reject the values that were most dear to them. I think about all this and understand that the root cause of all these most unfortunate and tragic circumstances is that we live in an era of Hester Panim. I hope and pray that we will one day break out of this unfortunate state. I hope and pray that we hear that sound of the shofar that will usher in an era of not only world peace and goodness but most importantly an era in which God’s Face is not concealed but where we feel His warmth and love. Until then I will get on the floor and mourn and perhaps even shed a tear about the state of Hester Panim that seems to be intensifying at the moment.

I hope you have a meaningful Tisha B’av.

A Case Study in Perspectives and Priorities

I dedicate this post on my blog to my uncle, Chaim Perl of blessed memory, who suddenly passed away on Leil Shabbos, August 15, 2014.

Ready or not, Elul is here. Elul is the time to finally stop kicking the can down the road. This past year on Rosh Hashanah, many of us were inspired to engage in self-improvement in one way or another. For some of us it was in the area of our relationship with G-d; this would be the year that our engagement with prayer and Torah study would significantly improve. For others, it was the focus on improving relationships. The myriad of relationships we have in life are often complex and troubled.  It takes a significant investment of commitment, time and energy to ensure that the relationships we have with our spouse, parents, and children are healthy and meaningful.

Despite all the good intentions we may have had at the onset of the year, we find ourselves bogged down with daily routines.  Life is busy and we get distracted easily.  Often times the distractions need to be dealt with immediately.  Keeping our priorities straight and not lose perspective is challenging.  We get confronted with situations that can be so stressful that it knocks us off our mark and we forget about our priorities and the perspectives that we had on Rosh Hashanah.

I am writing this shortly after leaving the shiva that observed the passing of a man I thought I knew. This man was my uncle who suddenly passed away and left behind his grieving wife and six children. His children spoke with pain in their voices but with a deep sense of pride about the man that was their dad. As I left the shiva home I reflected about my uncles rock solid priorities and perspectives.

He had many priorities, but he always put his family first. At 5:30 am, he went to pick up my elderly grandfather to drive him to synagogue so he could attend a pre dawn Talmud class. Afterwards, he drove to attend the Talmud study program that he participated in. Despite the many hours he spent in business, he was always there to go over homework with his kids every evening. In an age where there is not nearly enough times that children hear and feel they were loved, there was no doubt that his family felt the intense love. His wife reflected that in 30 years of marriage, he was home for every Shabbos with the exception of four.

When it came time to select a shul to daven in, he had one criteria -- he must have room for all of his sons to sit next to him. In an age where many  people select the shul based upon the best kiddush club or who they can socialize with, this is all the more unusual.

Even when it came to legitimate grievances that many people have within the Orthodox Jewish community, he maintained the proper perspective.

The issue of rising tuition cost for yeshiva day schools has frustrated many and caused much anger in our communities. My uncle simply told me that the fact that he pays tuition for six children in the yeshiva day school system is the best investment. He and his wife were investing in the long term spiritual growth of their kids.

Rest in peace, dear uncle. Your days in this world were few and finite. Your days in the  world of truth , undoubtedly, will be eternal and infinite.