A Stress Free Life?

I grew up thinking that the Surgeon General's warnings were equivalent to secular gospel. Over the years, the Surgeon General has issued stark warnings on various hazardous activities to our health. From the original warning on the harms of cigarettes in 1964 and onward, the warnings from the Surgeon General have shaped new and changing behaviors across society. For this reason, I paused what I was doing and noted a new warning from the Surgeon General released this week. Dr. Vivek Murthy, our current Surgeon General, released a statement that parenting can be hazardous to your mental health. Yes, you heard that correctly. He is sounding the alarm on the hazards of parenting to our mental health. "The stresses parents and caregivers have today are being passed to children in direct and indirect ways, impacting families and communities across America," he said. In the advisory, Murthy noted 41 percent of parents say they are so stressed most days they can't function, and 48 percent say their stress is completely overwhelming compared to other adults. One can reasonably ask who is not stressed out these days? But who isn't feeling that way? Teenagers are lonely and stressed. Older adults are lonely and stressed. Single men are lonely and stressed. There's an epidemic of loneliness and stress in this country, and it's bad for our mental and physical health. There is a lot to unpack here, but one of my initial thoughts is that because some aspects of life have an element of stress, should we avoid them? Have we become so delicate that we disintegrate with any stressful activity and should only seek out ostensibly a stress-free life? There is no area in life that is stress-free. Has no one in a Disney-themed park ever lost their temper or experienced a level of stress? To be sure, there are more stress-inducing activities than others, but just because something involves stress, should we instinctively avoid it? The Talmud teaches us that G-d had three gifts for the Jewish People and they are only acquired suffering. These gifts are the Torah, the Land of Israel, and the World to Come. I have often wondered if G-d wanted to give us these special gifts, why can't He gift this to us without suffering? Wouldn't it be just great if the Land of Israel had no security or terror threats to deal with? Why is it necessary to undergo any pain or suffering if we are just supposed to have these gifts? This issue is way above my pay grade to fully weigh in on. I will attempt to share some insight. Our purpose in life is to have a meaningful spiritual journey filled with purpose. G-d gave us a blueprint called the Torah on how to maximize our journey toward fulfillment. Sometimes, a degree of stress and pain is involved in our life journey in our effort to connect to meaning and holiness. While we do not seek out stress, we also do not choose not to have lives of meaning simply because stress is involved. This brings us back to parenting. Can it be stressful? Sure. A more compelling question may be, is it meaningful? Bringing children into the world and raising them to be upstanding members of society living in G-d's image may be the most meaningful thing one can experience. To paraphrase a line from a classic baseball movie, "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great." Have a Peaceful Shabbos, Rabbi Yaakov Fisch

This Year in Jerusalem

How about some good news for a change? In a time when there appears to be a deluge of news ranging from unsavory to horrific, I need to refocus my perspective and make a better effort to cherish the positive news around us. There are plenty of positive and heartwarming developments happening all the time; it just tends to get overlooked as there is so much other eye-grabbing news. One news item that I came across this week that I am unsure is getting the proper attention it deserves is the number of Jews from North America making Aliyah to the Land of Israel. Over this week alone (August 20-28) some 600 newcomers will make Israel their new home via 14 group aliyah flights offered by Nefesh B’Nefesh. This latest wave of immigrants is part of a larger movement that has seen 2,000 olim—ranging in age from just 2 months old to 97—embark on their journey to Israel this summer. The new citizens hail from an array of states and provinces across the United States and Canada. It’s important to note that these numbers of Olim are only from North America. This does not include the thousands of other Jews from around the world returning to its ancestral homeland. This development would be remarkable under any circumstances. In a time when Israel is embroiled in an existential seven-front war, it is even more astounding! We are seeing the previously thought unbelievable words of our prophet Tzephania unfold in front of our very own ways. בָּעֵ֤ת הַהִיא֙ אָבִ֣יא אֶתְכֶ֔ם וּבָעֵ֖ת קַבְּצִ֣י אֶתְכֶ֑ם כִּֽי־אֶתֵּ֨ן אֶתְכֶ֜ם לְשֵׁ֣ם וְלִתְהִלָּ֗ה בְּכֹל֙ עַמֵּ֣י הָאָ֔רֶץ בְּשׁוּבִ֧י אֶת־שְׁבוּתֵיכֶ֛ם לְעֵינֵיכֶ֖ם .אָמַ֥ר ה Translation (At that time, I will gather you, and at that time, I will bring you home, for I will make you renowned and famous among all the peoples on earth. When I restore your fortunes before their very eyes, said G-d.) If one would have told my great grandparents in a European shtetl that planeloads of Jews would be arriving in our ancient homeland, that would have been dismissed as sheer fantasy. It is now a reality that is happening in front of our eyes! Our weekly Parsha of Eikev teaches us the special quality of the Land of Israel that has caused Jews for thousands of years to wistfully yearn for our ancestral homeland. The Torah states “ אֶרֶץ אֲשֶׁר־ה אֱלֹקיךָ דֹּרֵשׁ אֹתָהּ תָּמִיד עֵינֵי יְיָ אֱלֹקיךָ בָּהּ.” (Translation: A Land which G-d always seeks out. The eyes of G-d are always on it.) The relationship that one can have with G-d on this land is more compelling and intense than any other place in the world. For thousands of years, we have concluded the Pesach Seder and Yom Kippur with the declaration of “Next Year in Jerusalem.” For more and more Jews, the modern-day miracle is enabling them to say, “This Year in Jerusalem.” Have a Peaceful Shabbos, Rabbi Yaakov Fisch

More than Meets the Eye

It can occasionally be a pretty frustrating experience for a parent to go grocery shopping with their young children. As the parent makes their way through the aisles that contain candy and other sweets, the child may ask or even cry for the treat that the parent may deny. The parent may even wish that there were no aisles in the store that created such havoc if only the grocery industry would cooperate. It's a whole other story for a parent to take a child into a candy or ice cream store, and the child continues to ask for a treat, and the parent denies him, which seems to be unnecessary cruelty. Why take the kid into a candy store if you are not going to allow him to buy anything? Wouldn't it be better for the parent not to take the kid into the candy store to begin with? I think about this question as I read our parsha Va'eschanan once again this year. Moshe is delivered the greatest disappointment of his life when G-d tells him with certainty he will not be able to enter the Land of Israel. Moshe's greatest aspiration in his life was to enter Israel, and he continued to rally the people not to give up hope of entering the Land despite numerous setbacks. To say it was a disappointment to Moshe is an enormous understatement. G-d does offer a caveat to Moshe. Although he couldn't physically enter the Land, Moshe is instructed to go to the border and stare wistfully into the Land of Israel. To me, that sounds unnecessarily cruel! If he is not able to enter the Land, what's the point of Moshe going to the border and looking in? I read a fascinating insight from one of the commentaries, the Kli Yakar on the Parsha. He writes that there are two aspects to the Land of Israel; the physical aspect and the spiritual aspect. The physical are the natural wonders that Israel is blessed with, from the Dead Sea to Ein Gedi and everything in between. The fruits and vegetables are blessed with a taste of freshness and deliciousness! While those traits are indeed special, natural wonders are hardly unique. There are numerous locales all over the world that boast breathtaking natural resources. However, another aspect of the Land of Israel that makes it unparalleled to any place in the world is its spiritual dimension. As the Torah states, the presence of G-d manifests itself in the Land of Israel in a more compelling and intense manner than any other place in the world. For this reason, different religions have longed to attach themselves to the Land of Israel and claim it as their own, as its spiritual richness is attractive and causes envy among the nations. In the final moments of his life, G-d told Moshe that although he would not merit to physically enter the Land, he would be able to savor some of its spiritual richness by looking into it at the border. This last gesture was no small comfort to Moshe, who was only interested in entering the Land of Israel for its spiritual blessing. As Israel and the Jewish People fight an existential war, it's essential to understand what the fight is really about. Our adversaries are claiming that Jews have no physical nor spiritual claim to the Land of Israel. Our Parsha reminds us what is really at stake. Have a Peaceful Shabbos, Rabbi Yaakov Fisch

Can you handle the truth?

"I WANT THE TRUTH! YOU CANNOT HANDLE THE TRUTH!" This dialogue from an old legal thriller movie are words that weigh heavily on my mind at this time of year. As we prepare to observe Tisha B'av, our national day of mourning, it clearly feels different this year. In previous years, we were somehow told "not to go through the motions" in our mourning practices. In past years, it would require a more significant effort of mental and spiritual exercise to put our headspace in the mindset of a mourner as we lamented the tragic events that took place in our past. As we woke up to a new world order on October 7, alas this year requires less preparation to be in the mindset of a mourner on Tisha B'av. The world we had thought had changed. It was a world in which one felt (almost) completely secure in the Land of Israel. We thought we had permanently turned a corner in the last several decades here in the United States. Gone were the days when anti semitism was remotely acceptable in the mainstream of American society. The aftermath of October 7 included calls of genocide towards the Jews in Times Square, and the transformation of America's Ivy League into hotbeds of hatred is just the tip of the iceberg. The reality has sunk in that we are not immune to the long Jewish story of suffering and tragedy. Tisha B'av is not just a day to mourn the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash (Holy Temple). In fact, the destruction of the Temple is indirectly connected to all the Jewish pain over the millennia. From a spiritual perspective, from the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash onward, we have entered a dark phase in which the presence of G-d appears distant and remote. As time goes on, that darkness seems to intensify. This results in unspeakable tragedies and confusion as we witness the good and the righteous to suffer. This includes the Jewish state involved in a seven front war with each entity desiring to annihilate millions of Jews. Of course, this is not limited to the battlefield. It extends to diplomatic, legal and emotional isolation from the world's nations. One is not sure whether to laugh or cry upon hearing the news that South Africa summoned Israel to the International Court of Justice for the prosecution of its management over a war over its existence. The list is unfortunately too long to enumerate. Suffice it to say the last months have been brutal in so many ways. The root cause for this malaise, unfortunately, is not new. The many long chapters of pain and tragedy are a result of the Jewish people continuing to be the world of Hester Panim (Hidden Face of G-d). As we sit on the ground this Tisha B'av, let us yearn for the restoration of a new era with G-d's countenance and the rebuilding of the Beis Hamikdash (Temple). The status quo is simply unbearable. The truth is staring us in the face. This week, it's once again time to ask ourselves if we can handle the truth. Have a Peaceful Shabbos, Rabbi Yaakov Fisch