A Stress Free Life?

I grew up thinking that the Surgeon General's warnings were equivalent to secular gospel. Over the years, the Surgeon General has issued stark warnings on various hazardous activities to our health. From the original warning on the harms of cigarettes in 1964 and onward, the warnings from the Surgeon General have shaped new and changing behaviors across society. For this reason, I paused what I was doing and noted a new warning from the Surgeon General released this week. Dr. Vivek Murthy, our current Surgeon General, released a statement that parenting can be hazardous to your mental health. Yes, you heard that correctly. He is sounding the alarm on the hazards of parenting to our mental health. "The stresses parents and caregivers have today are being passed to children in direct and indirect ways, impacting families and communities across America," he said. In the advisory, Murthy noted 41 percent of parents say they are so stressed most days they can't function, and 48 percent say their stress is completely overwhelming compared to other adults. One can reasonably ask who is not stressed out these days? But who isn't feeling that way? Teenagers are lonely and stressed. Older adults are lonely and stressed. Single men are lonely and stressed. There's an epidemic of loneliness and stress in this country, and it's bad for our mental and physical health. There is a lot to unpack here, but one of my initial thoughts is that because some aspects of life have an element of stress, should we avoid them? Have we become so delicate that we disintegrate with any stressful activity and should only seek out ostensibly a stress-free life? There is no area in life that is stress-free. Has no one in a Disney-themed park ever lost their temper or experienced a level of stress? To be sure, there are more stress-inducing activities than others, but just because something involves stress, should we instinctively avoid it? The Talmud teaches us that G-d had three gifts for the Jewish People and they are only acquired suffering. These gifts are the Torah, the Land of Israel, and the World to Come. I have often wondered if G-d wanted to give us these special gifts, why can't He gift this to us without suffering? Wouldn't it be just great if the Land of Israel had no security or terror threats to deal with? Why is it necessary to undergo any pain or suffering if we are just supposed to have these gifts? This issue is way above my pay grade to fully weigh in on. I will attempt to share some insight. Our purpose in life is to have a meaningful spiritual journey filled with purpose. G-d gave us a blueprint called the Torah on how to maximize our journey toward fulfillment. Sometimes, a degree of stress and pain is involved in our life journey in our effort to connect to meaning and holiness. While we do not seek out stress, we also do not choose not to have lives of meaning simply because stress is involved. This brings us back to parenting. Can it be stressful? Sure. A more compelling question may be, is it meaningful? Bringing children into the world and raising them to be upstanding members of society living in G-d's image may be the most meaningful thing one can experience. To paraphrase a line from a classic baseball movie, "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great." Have a Peaceful Shabbos, Rabbi Yaakov Fisch