It Starts with Listening

Unless you were in a cave in Antarctica, you heard or watched the Presidential Debate between the two leading candidates. In its aftermath, there has been much debate about the debate. From the claim about the bias of the moderators to the claim of migrants eating pets in Ohio, this was one for the ages. It's hard to know whether this debate will change anybody's mind. I definitely do not have the credentials of a political pundit and am not qualified to offer any analysis from a political angle. I will weigh in from a different perspective. What this debate (and virtually all other political debates) did not exhibit was the ability for one person to listen to another person respectfully. In this shouting match, or what some have categorized as a food fight without the food, there were insults, scorn, and contempt hurled from one to another. The inability to have a respectful and healthy discourse all starts with the ability of listening to one another. I am fond of the Gaon of Vilna's teaching about the three levels of listening. The first level is simply to listen. While this can sound rather elementary, it is not a skill exhibited by most of society. The desire to interrupt someone as he might be saying something you disagree with can lead to the person being unable to finish their sentence. The second level is understanding. This means making an effort to understand what the other person is saying before judging if the person is saying something wise or foolish. It may include a follow-up question to the person to give him an opportunity to clarify his position more articulately. The third level of listening is acceptance. The notion of accepting does not mean that you necessarily agree with that person. Rather, it can just mean that you accept this is their position. For example, it may translate by you saying, "I accept that you are against abortion with rare exceptions, but I have a different view." In that case (or others), you are not delegitimizing the person with an opposing view, and at the same time, you are making it clear that you disagree with that viewpoint. As we approach the sacred days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, our Rabbis remind us of the value of seeking reconciliation with those we may have had disagreements with in the past year. The first step on this path to healing may be as simple as stopping and truly listening to the other person's perspective. Have a Peaceful Shabbos, Rabbi Yaakov Fisch

A Cry for Help

The Jewish world was dealt a sucker punch this week that left some people struggling to breathe. The tragic news that the IDF had recovered six bodies of hostages was a painful ending to their lives. For the last 11 months, the world watched in awe of these families as they rallied the world on behalf of their loved ones. For American Jews especially, the story of Hersh Goldberg-Polin struck an emotional cord. Hersh was born in California, and his family made aliya to Israel when he was a young boy. On October 7, as Hersh was attempting to find refuge in a bomb shelter, his arm was blown off when the terrorists lobbed a grenade into the shelter. As he was in that precarious condition, the terrorists kidnapped him into Gaza and kept him in unspeakable conditions in a dungeon underground. His family, particularly his mother, Rachel Goldberg, left no stone unturned as she traveled the world and met with people of influence to help rescue her son. Rachel said, "I personally feel like we have to keep running to the end of the Earth to save him." Alas, that was not meant to be, as he was executed in cold blood by Hamas terrorists. Rachel eulogized her beloved son Hersh in remarks that captivated people worldwide. Reactions to the tragedy were fast and furious. That is understandable, as many people felt raw anger and sadness, and many people took to the streets in Israel to protest the government's role in the war. It is beyond my purview to weigh in on this issue from a political and security perspective. There are enough people out there who are not shy to offer their opinions in that arena. I will offer some thoughts from a spiritual perspective. As a community of faith, we are once again numb with pain as such unimaginable suffering is endured by our people. The famous biblical judge Gideon commented after the Jewish people suffered at the hands of the ancient Midianim. Ironically, the location was Gaza, as described in the Book of Shoftim/Judges. Gideon saw all the suffering and said the following words. וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלָיו גִּדְעוֹן בִּי אֲדֹנִי וְיֵשׁ ה עִמָּנוּ וְלָמָּה מְצָאַתְנוּ כׇּל־זֹאת וְאַיֵּה כׇל־נִפְלְאֹתָיו אֲשֶׁר סִפְּרוּ־לָנוּ אֲבוֹתֵינוּ לֵאמֹר הֲלֹא מִמִּצְרַיִם הֶעֱלָנוּ ה וְעַתָּה נְטָשָׁנוּ ה וַיִּתְּנֵנוּ בְּכַף־מִדְיָן.Translation: Gideon said, "Please, my Lord, if G-d is with us, why has all this befallen us? Where are all those wondrous deeds about which our ancestors told us, saying, 'Truly G-d brought us up from Egypt'? Now G-d has abandoned us and delivered us into the hands of Midian!" These words sound sacrilege as he wondered whether G-d had abandoned him. The response that Gideon received in recorded in the following verse. וַיִּפֶן אֵלָיו ה וַיֹּאמֶר לֵךְ בְּכֹחֲךָ זֶה. Translation: G-d turned to him and said, "Go in this strength of yours and deliver Israel from the Midianites. I herewith make you My messenger." What strength did Gideon have? Rashi, quoting the Midrash, says, "By the power of the merit of your advocacy of my children." The real lesson from Gideon was that it was meritorious and righteous for him to turn to G-d and say, "How much can our people handle"? The pain and empathy that one feels for the suffering of a fellow Jew is a currency that has a high value up in Heaven. As we are in the month, let us continue to be kind and empathic toward one another and cry out to the eternal Guardian of Israel to put an end to this most painful chapter of history. Have a Peaceful Shabbos, Rabbi Yaakov Fisch